


Mary: dressed in blood.

by TayBartlett9000



Category: Historical RPF, The Tudors (TV)
Genre: Bloody Mary - Freeform, Catholicism, Death, Duty, Gen, God - Freeform, Heretic, History, Love, Memories, Regrets, Royalty, Sadness, Sixteenth Century, Tudor, faith - Freeform, final words, legacy, prayers, protistantism, reflections
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 10:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16741876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TayBartlett9000/pseuds/TayBartlett9000





	Mary: dressed in blood.

I knew one day that I would be forced to submit to  a heretic, though my measures to stamp out  their  repulsive atitudes and practices reached far and wide across England. Yes, I knew one day that the religion of those heretics would once again sweep across the land that I had faught so hard to clenze, and knowing that the ruler of these heretics will soon be  my own sister gives me no comfort.

I loved her once, I cannot deny that. In childhood, we could have been said to be on civil terms, if not comrads in arms. I saw in Elizabeth that same characteristic of charm that had existed in her heartless mother, that same charm that had insnared my father and caused him to push my own dear mother aside. And yet, I did love her. I tried in the early days to lead Elizabeth down the path of the true faith, to reassure her that Catholicism was the only path to happiness. But alas, she refused to heed my words.

And now, she is to become queen. I had very little choice. It was either my heritic sister or the daughter of that traitor, and I knew that the people of England would only accept one of the two candidates. They are fascinated by her, though I know not why. They proclaim her to be the true queen of England, denouncing me and my efforts as unworthy.  I fear that my name and memory will be forever tarnished by those protestant  heathens who still stalk England’s streets. I fear also that my fight for all to recognise the true  words of God  has been in vein.

In truth, I have faught in vein all my life. In childhood, I faught for my father’s love and to be recognised as a Princess of England. Both of these had been denied me, and they had been denied me by my  anointed king and that  jezebel  who had sunk her claws into his soul. I had faught for the freedom of my mother, and yet she too had been denied me. My own father had made sure that a little girl grew up in isolation, away from  the most important person in her life. My mother died alone. I was unable to be by her side when God finally saw fit to take her from me. I blame Anne Boleyn for this too. These were the first battles that I, Mary  Tudor, faught and lost.

It is a bitter sweet thing, reflecting on my life and realising that much if not all of it was faught fruitlessly. I faught to keep my   status and ultimately failed. I faught to maintain a loving relationship with my beloved Philip, and ultimately failed in this as well. I failed in my goal to grant an  heir to the kingdom that  I governed. And now, the kingdom that I have been  holding onto so   tenuously   shall be snatched from my  grasp. I faught   to keep myself on that throne, and again, I shall ultimately fail.

Even  when   considering my life long struggles, I have no regrets. I have stood for years against the rising  tide of protestant conspiracy and have held my head high throughout. I have walked in the footsteps of those who ruled before me and  have done God’s work well, I believe. Many have called me cruel, and even more have  already bismirched my name with  slander and scandle. They say that I  have ruled for too long with blood on my hands and that this blood will remain on my hands until the day I die.  But this  fazes me not. I know deep down that both my dear mother and  God are proud of my efforts. I know that once I step through those pearly gates and come  face to face with those I love, my mother will take me in her arms and tell me that I have indeed done the right thing.

The hour of my death grows near, and I feel a sense  of slight relief sweeping over me. Now that my time is approaching, I feel that I shall leave this mortal world a guiltless woman. I, as queen, did all  that I could do to ensure the religious peace throughout my country, and I know that in order to pass peacefully from this world, I must put my faith in  Elizabeth. I know not  whether she will be  successful, but my people adore her.  I condone  neither her heritidge, her actions or her faith but I have made my decision and  that decision stands. Mary Tudor shall be no more. I can only hope that Elizabeth’s reign  will be a more beloved one than my own.

I hope also, more than anything else, that some  will speak of me kindly once I  have departed from this mortal world. I can only hope that some  recognise my deeds to  have been for the  greater good. Understanding and respect is all that I have ever wanted. I faught for it in my  childhood and I fight for it still. If only one person sees me as a worthy queen with nothing but the best interests  of her country in her heart, I shall be happy.

And so  i PREPARE TO DIE WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS CAN BE SPARED ME. I shall do nothing more  now than wish my sister good luck  and good favour as she begins her reign, a reign that I hope will be as long as possible, and as  free from retribution and fear as can be. I ask God for mercy, for my sister and myself. I thank God for the life that I have been blessed with, and send a silent prayer to my mother who I shall see sooon in heaven. I will be happy to see her, and I needent wait much longer. I shall see her  beautiful face soon   enough.


End file.
